


Bruce's nonexistent issue with the Avengers

by black_queen (hotch_fan)



Series: Eccentric Superhero Boyfriends [5]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Banter, Canon - Movie, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Dialogue-Only, Established Relationship, Humor, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Avengers (2012), Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:58:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotch_fan/pseuds/black_queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony thinks Bruce is jealous of the Avengers. Which Bruce is not, of course. Really, he's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruce's nonexistent issue with the Avengers

"... you should have seen Steve's face when Clint said that. _God_. I thought he was going to have a stroke with all the blood that went to his face. And Thor. Innocent, over one-thousand-years-old Thor was chewing a pop-tart and looking at them like a little lost kid. I just wanted to reach out and pat his head. But then I remember he's a God and all that. It would have been kind of awkward.

"I wish Natasha had been here. With that thing going on between her and Barton, this would have been even more hilarious."

"..."

"But why am I even wasting time trying to describe a moment so magic it can't really get covered just with words? Don't worry, though, I got it taped. Or _JARVIS_ did. Anyway, you have to see it. I'm sending it to you right now. Got it?"

*grunt*

"It's _hilarious,_ isn't it? I'm thinking about putting it up on YouTube or something. People have the legitimate right to see it. I mean, I knew the Cap was a goody two shoes Boy Scout, but the levels of chastity that man can achieve are so far off the scale even I can't believe it sometimes. I mean, I know he's supposed to be like ninety years old, but still.

"And like, you know, I simply love the idea of taking other superheroes off their heroic, shiny pedestals too. It sounds great."

"..."

"Uh, hello? Are you still there, cupcake?"

"Yes."

"Oh. For a moment there I was worried you let me talking to myself."

*snort* "Like you don't enjoy that."

"Well, yeah. But that would totally defeat the purpose of calling to share all the fun with you, Batsy."

"You should have called Agent Colson. I'm sure he would have been _delighted_ to hear this."

"Oh, but I already did that. Right before calling you, cupcake. Philly-boy hung up on me, but I'm sure it was because he couldn't hold his laughter any longer."

"Of course."

"You sound grumpy, Batsy. What's up?"

"Nothing is 'up', Tony. Have you finished your report of the day already? I have to get back to work."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold on just a damn second. Are you _jealous_ , Brucie-bear?"

"Jealous of _what_ , exactly?"

"I don't know, maybe of the fact I get to live with four smoking hot guys and a very sexy, very dangerous women, all of which I might add, sometimes like to train and move around the Tower with very little clothes. Or, you know because you don't have such badass and funny coworkers living with you."

*snort* "Right. Because I want to live under the same roof that two trained assassins, a man that transforms into a green beast at the minimal provocation, a Super-Soldier from the forties recently defrosted and a Norse God with a super villain brother."

"They're not that bad, you know. And Thor doesn't exactly _live_ here, actually. He just stays over sometimes. Whenever he's not in Asgard. And I didn't hear you deny the first part, cupcake."

"I thought that with how absurd it was, I didn't have to."

"Uh huh. Why are you getting all worked up about it then, huh? I actually think it's cute."

"That's great, Tony. Except, of course, for the fact I'm not jealous of you and your merry little band of superhero friends."

"The more you try to deny it ..."

"What are you, five?"

"I don't hear you give very compelling arguments either, Brucie-bear."

"..."

"I miss you too, you know? And that fantastic ass of yours."

*pause* "I think that's the longest you've ever babbled without bringing up my ass."

"Ooooh! Am I bringing up your ass, Brucie-dearest?"

"I'm hanging up now."

"No, wait! Are we still up for Sunday?"

"We are if you're keeping your _tin can_ out of Gotham."

"That was totally uncalled for. Or must I remind you my suit has been widely recognized as people's favorite among the superhero community?"

*groan* "Are you seriously going there again?"

"You're _damn_ right I am. How can I not when you're blatantly insulting such a goddamn piece of engineering, sweetheart."

"..."

"..."

"See you Sunday, then?"

"You can bet your pretty ass on it, Brucie-bear."

*sigh* "I see you then."

"Bye, bye honey buns! I love you!"

"... I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this little piece for a friend's birthday this weekend. I kind of, _might_ have converted her into a Wayne/Stark shipper, and with so little fanfics, this was the least I could do for her :P It was originally written in Spanish for her, but I decided to translate it and post it here too. This is also a bit of an experiment since this is my first time writing dialogue only. So, let me know what you think!
> 
> Lastly, for those still waiting on a upload for [the taste of the moment](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1016384/chapters/2020333) I'm already working on the next chapter, and it would be up before January ends. I promise!
> 
> This is unbetaed and I'm not a native speaker so feel free to point out any mistake you may find.


End file.
